The light tone to it all throws it together for me. Good choice on the light design to back and shoulder. One thing that throws it off for me is the hairline on the back, I assume its shaved but feels either slightly too much or too little showing to get across fully (if so)
Thank you for your feedback! In response (and to help make it clear for other viewers) this character does have an undercut, more to the shape of a mohawk. And the hair has just been flattened. So there is meant to be more hair at the front more than the back~
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